Total Recall: New poem by ThisCantBeHappening! resident poet Gary Lindorff

(Prefacing remarks: My dealer writes to thank me

for letting them fix the airbag on my Suby Outback.

Apparently I was driving my car for many years with

a defective airbag that was a potentially lethal weapon.

In the event of deployment

it would have malfunctioned,

perforating a body

with little projectiles of shrapnel.

Good thing my car was "made with love.")

Total Recall

6 billion recalled for defective wiring.

Official notice:

Global Crisis Sensor and Reactive Systems failure.

Read on:

During any global crisis,

(such as catastrophic climate events

or flagrant acts of terror)

if you were born after 1945,

your body, regardless of model,

will go into sleep-mode,

shut down entirely

or self-destruct.

Cause: Global Crisis Sensor overload and

total back-up systems failure.

90% of models will fail

due to design error...