The Trump Doctrine

By David Swanson, American Herald Tribune

Here's a condensed version of Donald Trump's recent speech that I'm considering offering on gold-ish plating for $19.98:

Nationalism, World War II mythology, and militarism must go unquestioned. But when they've been used in the past 25 years the results have been disastrous. We're all ready now to admit that Iraq was a horror, and we can do that more comfortably by lumping it with the horrors of Libya and Syria, and by pretending that people in our government meant well. But U.S. militarism created ISIS.

Here's how we fix this. First, pretend that the most expensive military in the history of the world has been skimping and struggling, and blame that on the economy, rather than recognizing that the economy is staggering under the weight of the military machine. I'll fix the economy using magic, and that will fix the military.

Second, while I haven't explained how more or different spending could have transformed disastrous wars into successes, let's have future wars more heavily paid for by others. But I'm not really threatening to close bases or end NATO, because I'm all talk. In fact, let's just fuel a global arms race by requiring other countries to buy more weapons. That U.S. weapons are already the top supplier to so-called friend and foe alike, including ISIS, shouldn't worry you, because at least you won't have to hear that phony humanitarian in the White House calling ISIS "ISIL" anymore, and because I'm planning to use magic.

Third, if you think Hillary can tell whoppers and demonize Iran at Israel's bidding, wait till you see how fast I can fall in line. I can get so scared of Iranians that my hair blows off. In fact, I'll start a war to out-do the last dozen disastrous wars, including the Iraq war that I pretend I opposed, and I'll do it at the slightest slight to my honor as a noble duelling jackass in deep romantic love with the holy state of Israel which I may have spoken about with a slight tinge of honesty a month ago, but that was then.

Fourth, the North Koreans are coming to get us! And the Chinese! Let's ignore the fact that Obama is to all appearances trying to start World War III in the South China Sea while I'm yammering on, he is in fact weak! Weak!

Lastly, we need a plan for something different from endless counterproductive war, and I have no idea what such a thing might look like, so here's what I propose: more endless counterproductive war, with possible lapses as I fail to get countries to pay for their own bombings, and combined with a major increase in hatred and persecution of immigrants and minorities within the United States. As a result of this new approach, and magic, ISIS will cease to exist. So, trust me when I lie to you that military spending has been shrinking and leaving the U.S. behind other militaries. Elect me and, exactly as if you elected Hillary Clinton, you can expect every dime possible and more to be dumped into militarism.

It comes back to this: we must be more selfish, more jingoist, more nationalist, and -- if that's even possible -- more militarist than ever. We must treat all of this shit as if it were a new idea that I just had. And yet I will hold out a tiny olive branch of hope that I might actually risk nuclear apocalypse a teensy bit less than Hillary, since I'm willing to talk about the slight possibility of peace with Russia. If Russia does what I want!

The key word is slight. I once talked about ending NATO, and now I've been so brought into line that I'm talking about inventing some new purpose for NATO to exist. Don't feel too sorry for whatever poor country becomes that purpose -- perhaps I'll just keep it as Afghanistan, a place I haven't even mentioned in this speech. Or perhaps I'll just keep it Russia.

But I'll drop all the Clintonian pretenses of humanitarian murder and respect for, while violating, the rule of law. So, at least with me, the summer peace activists and partisan sunshine war opponents will act as if they oppose wars again. How much of a difference will such a movement make in a nation with its leadership demanding fascistic hatred and greed? Probably not much. Perhaps a bit more if it were to get a head start by opposing Obama's seven existing wars now. Of course, Democrats won't do that. So, I'm not worried. Believe me.