5,000 plus hours qualifies player for VA health care

The Onion: Nov 25, 2009

'Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2' Breaking Sales Records

During its first five days on the shelves, Activision's latest installment in the first-person-shooter video game franchise Call Of Duty brought in $550 million worldwide. What are the reasons for its popularity?

● Somehow knows names and places of battles that are set to take place in the next few weeks
●Multiplayer mode enables you to connect with friends, nonstop action prevents them from drawing you into meaningful conversation
●5,000 or more hours of game play qualifies player for VA health care
●Not much good on TV
●When you shoot barrels, they explode
●The controller rumbles when your character is hit with a bullet, which is exactly what the human body does
●Dutiful young Americans realizing just what they are being called to do
●Offers homosexuals only opportunity to serve openly in the military